In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, our heroine meets Parker, a guy who seems smart, kind, and sensitive, and who is very cute. Buffy and Parker spend time together getting to know each other, and eventually have sex, but after that when Buffy tries to talk to him or date him again, she sees that Parker has already moved his attentions to a new girl, and was really only interested in a one-night stand. Buffy was hurt emotionally, and Parker really didn’t seem to see anything wrong with his action.
The thing is, Parker, if you were just honest about wanting to just have sex with a girl, you might have been pleasantly surprised by the reaction you’d get. Sure, you may not have landed Buffy, because she’s not really a one-night kind of girl, but there are plenty of people around who are totally comfortable with just having sex with someone for a night and then moving on. And, if you are honest about that being what you want, you don’t have to work so hard trying to convince the girl that you’re actually interested in her as a person. And the same goes for the girls out there. Some of us don’t necessarily WANT a relationship, but we do still want to have some physical intimacy, and don’t have a problem with just sex. And again, if you are honest about what you want, you don’t have to worry about taking the guy out to dinner and a movie, you can just suggest sleeping together and see how he feels about it.
I have a really good friend who is amazingly beautiful inside and out, and is EXTREMELY good in bed. However, he’s far more into the hippie/Burning Man kind of lifestyle than am, and we would definitely NOT be a good couple if we tried to date for any length of time. But, we can get together for a few days now and then and have a really good time together, and some mind-blowing sex, and then we go back to doing our own things by ourselves.
Even the guy I date most often isn’t the ideal match for me. We are around the same age, at similar points in our lives, and get along really well. We get each other’s nerdy geek references, even if he has NOT watched Doctor Who yet, and we have similar taste in music and both have kind of a warped sense of humor. And yes, we have AMAZINGLY GREAT sex. But, our sleep cycles are totally different and I think we’d probably drive each other nuts within a week if we tried staying over each other’s place for longer than a week or so. Neither of us want to get married or have kids, and we each still see other people sometimes, and we’re HONEST about it. Yeah, we like each other a lot, but that doesn’t mean we have to get married.
So, guys and girls, instead of trying some pick-up line about how much you’ll respect the person and how much you want to get to know them, why not try being honest and see what happens?!